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Now, I don’t claim that by having this understanding the two groups will want to marry each other or be best friends, but they may get along more.
In my personal experience, this was one area that my ex-husband and I did not have conflict.
I’ve noticed over the years that an ABCD’s ability to understand immigrants is directly related to the amount of South Asian immigrants they were exposed to while growing up and vice-versa. making, Hindi speaking, Hindu born in Brooklyn, who loves hip-hop and ragas, I often have to roll my eyes when an immigrant is surprised by my “Indian-ness.” I get defensive because I have every right to be all of those things but it makes sense that they would be surprised a mix of cultures they have always seen as separate.
Some immigrants live abroad longer, go to international schools, or travel with their parents which gives them different perspectives.
How many of you may be waiting for a Prince Charming or expecting a chase when dating?
Adding more fuel to the fire is the fact that most South Asians, no matter where they were raised, likely have not seen romance firsthand from family.
Of course both should be opened minded enough to date beyond ADBCism or desism ..brings up an interesting question as why would an ABCD girl be against to date a FOB guy or all desi guys ready to date an ABCD girl?
I later watched more old Bollywood films and saw the same patterns. For example, I realized that times when I clearly stated I didn’t want something, my ex-husband may have seen that as just playing hard to get or that with enough persistence, he could get his way. The guy begging for attention is seen as a loser and a man playing hard to get is at the core of attraction.
The place for the dating service can also be held in different locations as requested by the Japanese lady.