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12-Sep-2019 21:33

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Becoming the chooser in my own narrative meant exposing people’s misogynoir and their investment in systems that position societal hierarchies as more important than human needs and desires, especially those of Black women.

Love is a human need, but desire is still political, and it seems that romantic love especially can only be accessed by those with certain privileges and societal permissions.

As women, we can only accept or deny the dates offered to us by the men who “choose” us.

which found that Black women were seen as the least attractive women among straight users.

Their shock that I would even consider “being so bold” usually led to them rejecting my request.

Even when dating apps allows for women to initiate the conversation with a romantic prospect, the direction of the connection seems to still be ultimately is controlled by men.