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Early dates with your new love should be breakfasts or lunches when the kids are in school, or evening dates where the children have already been taken to a friend's house or the babysitter's before you arrive.
If you haven't spent that much time around children and young adults, you've got a lot of homework ahead of you.
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This undermines her authority and also confuses the children as to which one of you they should be listening to.
Not only is it important for you to understand their various developmental stages in order to know what makes them tick but also to figure out what kinds of things really interest them insofar as hobbies, books, movies, pets, games, sports and foods.
Their mother can obviously fill in many of these blanks for you but it wouldn't hurt to find a parent or teacher who is familiar with this age group and can give you advice and suggestions.
Neither preach to them nor bore them to death with "when I was your age" stories. Trust takes time to build and children are no exception to this rule.
Long before they start to envision you as a permanent fixture, they need to observe your actions and see how you relate to them as individuals and not just attachments to their mother.
The kids will always come first and you may be a close second.
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