Datingsites with im
Her nightstand is still full of photographs and books, letters, makeup bags, and greeting cards that’ve remained undisturbed for three years. It’s on my right hand, but it feels like such a betrayal to take it off entirely. I can’t throw those things away, and yet some of them no longer fit the narrative that I’m open to a long-term relationship with someone I care about.Having children simplifies the problem of how to handle it.I wanted to date, but I didn’t know if it was “appropriate.” It’s not that I wasn’t still grieving her death.But I recognized the very real possibility that my grief was part of me now, and that I’d never truly be without it again.My grief seemed like waves radiating out from a droplet of water in a larger pool. It’s easy to pay lip service to the sentiment, “I don’t care what people think.” It was harder to ignore that some of the people who might be confused, concerned, or hurt by my decision to date would be close family who’d also lost Leslie.Over time, the waves would be smaller and further apart, then a new droplet would fall and start the process all over again — a draining faucet trickling empty. About a year after her death, I felt ready to start looking for another partner.While I was ready to put myself back out there, my house remained a shrine to Leslie.
Though wedding pictures might get stored away, the family pictures are reminders of their mother and her love for them and need to stay up.Those words brought me pain then, instead of the comfort I find in them now.