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It’s also a tall order to have sex with the same person for more years than our ancestors ever hoped to live.Then, at menopause, a woman’s hormones suddenly drop and her desire can wane.I’m not sure it’s possible to justify my liaisons with married men, but what I learned from having them warrants discussion.Not between the wives and me, though I would be interested to hear their side.I think polygamy is a widespread ideology among women and their preference with men, especially in African countries.However, I do not believe the idea of “one man, one wife” is totally applicable because people have their own life rules, philosophies and patterns to doing things and handling issues. I also remember a Ghanaian actress once made a comment about women having to depend on men to sustain themselves.
The first time I saw my favorite married man pick up his pint of beer, the sleeve of his well-tailored suit pulled back from his wrist to reveal a geometric kaleidoscope of tattoos.
Others I texted or talked with, which sometimes felt nearly as intimate.
Before I met each man I would ask: “Why are you doing this? What surprised me was that these husbands weren’t looking to have more sex. I met one man whose wife had implicitly consented to her husband having a lover because she was no longer interested in sex, at all.
This is dicey because you can’t always control emotional attachments when body chemicals mix, but with the married men I guessed that the fact that they had wives, children and mortgages would keep them from going overboard with their affections. They didn’t get overly attached, and neither did I. In a couple of cases, the men I met were married to women who had become disabled and could no longer be sexual, but the husbands remained devoted to them.
All told I communicated with maybe a dozen men during that time in my life, and had sex with fewer than half.No, this discussion should happen between wives and husbands, annually, the way we inspect the tire tread on the family car to avoid accidents.